Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 15


Today I wish to get into another not so well understood subject. It’s about soul ties. This is how I understand the theory of Soul ties. In our previous articles I mentioned the Spiritual and the Soul part of man and how each functions. About the soul part of man I wish to reveal the following; this is the part where emotions, feelings, love, hurt, hatred and moods, are seated. It is also the part that we use for belonging, that is the part that makes us feel that we want to be part of certain people. Now what happens is that once a matter has been decided in one’s soul it becomes hard for other’s whose souls are not involved in the matter to understand the viewpoint of this person. Let me give you an example about a friend who is so madly in love with someone you have not met as yet. They keep telling you about the person until you want to see them. Before you meet the ‘love of their life’ you draw many possible pictures about how they look like based on the infatuation of your friend. Then comes the day when you have to put the face to the picture drawn, and you can’t believe your eyes!
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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 14


I want you to read the following statement and do a soul searching long enough. ‘You can’t both be right but continue to have a problem between yourselves. Or you cannot have a problem yet both of you claim to be right, not unless the meaning of right has changed or you have a new and a different definition of right’. One sad thing I have seen with this generation is they lack the ability to know right from wrong. For example I have come across a lot of young married couples who “want their space” or “need a break”. And when we speak to them we discover that had they been honest with themselves from the beginning they would have never reached the point where they are at presently. I mean needing your space is definitely not for the married. Most of you confuse where you met with where you’re heading to. The fact that you met at a social club does not mean that you are going to build a social family.
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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 13

In our previous article I tried to highlight the importance of compatibility in the Spiritual realm. And please be aware that my opinions on these issues remain open to criticism. When I began sharing on this subject I made it clear that I am not a marriage counsellor and that I will be approaching the subject from a marriage partner's point of view. I have been married to the same woman for 28 years and not once did we need to go for marriage counselling and neither did we get any pre marital counselling. The principles that I’m sharing here with you are our own self made ethics that we made up after reaching a few “cul de sacs” in our relationship. I might be wrong but it has worked for us for the past 28 years. 
Secondly I also wish to indicate that we did not keep these philosophies under wraps but we put them to the test by asking other couples younger than ourselves to try them and they yielded the same results. I have a young couple in our Church that I married about 10 years ago, I asked them to try the same principles in their marriage and they have never been to a marriage counsellor for the past 10 years. Neither did they have any problem that needed an outsider to intervene; somehow they were able to handle with success whatever issues they had. So I am just saying try them; if they work great and if they don’t praise God that we have a lot of powerful help out there, go and talk to someone. But then I must also say that make sure that you receive counselling from people who are on the same Spiritual wavelength as you are.

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MVK Zone Devotionalist - Bishop TI Mthimkhulu - Koinonia Bible Church - Sebokeng - RSA

Bishop. TI. Mthimkhulu
Bishop. Isaac T. Mthimkulu is the senior Pastor of Koinonia Bible Church in Zone 14 Sebokeng,  RSA since 1991. He is also the Bishop of the Pentecostal Assemblies of The world [PAW] in South Africa, and he oversees 7 Churches affiliated with Koinonia Bible Church. Bishop Mthimkulu is a mentor to 12 other Pastors across the country. He is currently the Chairperson of Ecclesia Pastoral Leadership Forum which is a fraternal of 30 pastors in Sedibeng.
Besides preaching internationally, he is also the Director of MEN ON TRACK, a men’s forum that motivates and mentors men through workshops and conferences. He received a citation from the City of Boston [USA] in acknowledgement of the Community work done by Koinonia Bible Church in 2001.He is happily married to Veronica for 21 years and are blessed with the only daughter, Jessica. His passion is to see people come to know and accept the grace of God revealed through the Lord Jesus Christ
                                      Church Address: Koinonia Bible Church - 21094 Zone 14 - Sebokeng - RSA  
                                      Tel: +2716 592-2598 - E-mail: kbc@telkomsa.net  
                                      Services: Wednesday: 10h00-12h00 - Sunday :  08h00-10h30

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LEHLOGONOLO ‘NONO’ LEFAKANE – 5 Jan 1988 – 21 Jun 2010 - RIP

AN ELEGY TO A FRIEND – By MV Kotu                                     

From behind darkened glasses my eyes flow with drops of tears. Tears of grief for a friend gone back to her master a while too short than I care to accept. It was only but for a moment too brief that she came into our presence, and just as we thought that her purpose she has found, right there before our eyes she was called back, as if it was by mistake that she was sent. It was so sure that her face never again shall we behold in the land of the living. Her master in his presence he wanted her to come, and this none of us could resist. For who in this world can never want to be in the presence of his God. She had to go back from where she came.Hard as we try to be strong. Strong for the sake of those who constantly trouble us with questions we cannot answer, wanting to know how come so quickly she was called. We all wish to know how come hers was such a brief appearance when others long enough live until they beg the master to call them back home, and as if ignoring their cries He continues to let them live.
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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 11

Today's articles is aimed at giving direction to those not already married. Simply because all that I will be saying in this article will be focusing more on offering preventative measures than giving curative ones. I wish to continue on the seriousness of compatibility or the lack thereof in relationships. In our previous articles I have touched on the subject of Principles and Preferences and how Joyce and I are able to live peacefully around them. This is simply so because we have realized that we are different in many ways than one. I also need to emphasize that two people can only agree or disagree to the extent they agree to do so. Without having common ground around these issues always becomes a bone of contention. Also be aware that agreeing or disagreeing will also be determined by the level of their maturity. It is also important to note that maturity has absolutely nothing to do with one's age.
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Part 5 - Confessions Of a Changed Person - Happy Fathers Day To All Dads

We lived peacefully for the remaining part of our lives and tried to shake off all the troubles we had gone through. It seemed like my father had somehow evaporated, we never saw him or heard from him until I was 25. This was 12 years after. I met Joyce in 1980 and within 2 years we were customarily married. We stayed with my mother at home. In 1984 we had a celebration which our families really wanted us to have. All the happenings of that day were very special to both Joyce and I as we celebrated with our families and friends, everything just went well and we were excited.

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PART 4 - Confessions Of a Changed Person - On Fathers Day 20 June - MVK

It was only on the morning when my mother asked questions that I learnt that on the day my dad took my younger brother with him, he actually did not take him home but he went on to give him away to some family somewhere in Soweto. Why did he have to do that anyway since we were no longer staying with him? I never got the answer to this very day. Some of the things people do will only be explained in the next life.

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Part 3 - Confessions Of a Changed Person - On Fathers Day 20 June - MVK

We ultimately reached our eldest sister's place three kilometers away at around five or so. Our journey from our home to there was the longest I have traveled so far in my life. The longest in the sense that I was only 11, afraid and full of questions as to why was all these were happening to us. What happened to our family? or was is it all a bad dream that I would wake up from. All these questions shot through my mind like bullets from a machine gun and none of them hit the target anyway instead they left me as blank as a they found me. The next thing I vividly remember asking again and again in my head was; was there really a God out there? I used to hear my parents talking about God in our home and my dad was himself a preacher, and we used to have Church at our home ever Sunday. At that time I must confess that I doubted the existence of God simply because I kept asking questions and for some reasons only known to him, He never felt obliged to reply. On reaching our sisters place we did not even know how to explain our sudden unexpected arrival, moreover in this bad weather.

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Confessions Of a changed Person - Failure Is Just An Option - Part 3

It took a number of months before our church income began to improve. And I must confess that money was the last thing on my mind at that point. I realized that I needed more cash than our Church was generating in order to survive. I mean here I was doing well on a fourteenth of my original income. Remember that before the job I quit was paying me R7500 per month, and here I was now earning R500. So I figured out that even if our Church made R5000 per month it was not going to change my situation at all. I hope you get my point of view. If you cannot learn from your trials or challenges then you are most likely never to learn from any other source around you.
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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 10

A big thank you to all those who responded to my call for at least 10 responses. I also wish to emphasize the importance of feed back and dialogue. With us talking around these issues whether we agree or totally disagree it will certainly help us and the others to find themselves within these topics and opinions and be able to get their direction. And that is the whole idea of the efforts i'm making towards the wellbeing of others.So come on, help me
Today I wish to touch on the point of Incompatibility as one of the many reasons why most marriages break up. The following is an excerpt from the wiktionary about the different meanings of my topic in relation to different fields of disciplines
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Part 2 - Confessions Of a Changed Person - On Fathers Day 20 June - MVK

A person never realizes how much they were actually injured until that old sore, so to speak is touched even by the slightest of objects. I truly believe that I had forgiven my father, and yes I did but I only realized yesterday that I grew up not knowing how to be a father to children. I believe that these things are not part of the general information that one can get from around them, they are not "caught" as the saying goes but they are taught. As a kid I grew up hating my father and I had too many reasons to justify it, and the things I detested him for according to my judgement back then were deserving of a very slow and painful death, but since that was not possible I found that hating him would do just fine. I wanted to grow up and be someone he would admire but never identify with in any way, and this is still the case with many kids who were given a raw deal by their fathers.
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Youth day - With Mr. Nicholas Mathole 16 June - At TFT - Time changed to 10:30

Mr. Nicholas Mathole
This year’s June 16 Youth day at The Freeway Tabernacle will be celebrated with a pioneer who grew up in Soweto. Mr. Nicholas Mathole, a man who is making a huge difference in the lives of many scholars by teaching them how to pass the most feared subject of Mathematics. In his own words Mr. Mathole describes himself: I am not a trained teacher but I have a great talent for mathematics. I teach maths to kids for free after school and our Results Speak for themselves.
• In 2005 - 9 distinctions in mathematics
• In the 2007 - 4 distinctions in mathematics
• In 2008 - 11 distinctions, 7 B’s, 15 Cs and 2 D’s in        Mathematics. I teach mathematics concepts, and I      develop my own material across the grade 10  12 syllabus. The name of the school project he established is called “Eyes Peeled Mathematics Clinic” He also teaches mathematics at “Teboho Trust” where more than 150 learners are  taught mathematics. The event will start at 10h30at the TFT old auditorium. 
Ø  Our program will start with presentations from different SETA’s (2 seta’s),    presenting their learnership programmes, available career paths etc
Ø  Mr Mathole will give a motivational speech on education with emphasis on mathematics. The last Seta will make a presentation. Youth will be given a platform to ask questions after each speaker. Scholars will then be encouraged to apply for different bursaries and learnerships which will be posted on the walls in the auditorium from different organisations. See you there. Time: 10h30Enquiries: Mr.Thabo Mosehla. 0762706552
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ELC Day - A Great Success - And Thanks To Modise Moathlodi

Modise and Zodwa
Phillip Semela
The ELC day at The Freeway Tabernacle was too wonderful. A big thank you to Pastor Modise Moathlodi. My brother you spoke to our hearts in a very special way. And hey, I am truly humbled to know that you actually read our blog. Thanks for that. To your lovely wife; madam thanks for your presence at our Church may the    Lord bless your family, and thanks to your daughter, and the team that accompanied you guys. The day was just too great. I believe that the seed you planted shall surely grow and multiply. I also believe that this is just the beginning of a wonderful relationship in the Lord. Thanks once more. Nozizwe thanks a lot to you too for a job well done. And my sister please understand that your entrepreneurship efforts in Rustenburg are simply identified as "bo Mkhozi" here in Jo'burg [LOL] however I truly thank God for seeing you through your situation, and just look where you are today. Thank you. Thanks also to Abe, Phillip, Kile,Sam and Bro Solly. You guys did extremely well, and your message was well received. and I'm certain that we have all benefited from your experiences.
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Part 1 - Confessions Of a Changed Person - On Fathers Day 20 June - MVK

I woke up today not feeling not too well about myself for no particular reason whatsoever. First I wished that it was not Sunday, but then I remembered that I am the Pastor of our Church and I was supposed to go to Church. So I had no choice. Joyce had already left as she usually does so around seven. I reluctantly woke up and fortunately for me I enjoy making up the bed so this was no big deal at all. I am not too sure if feeling sorry for yourself without any reason is common or is it just my experience. And I must say that it happens quite often with me I have even started to blame my womapause for it. Doctors have proven that men over 40 do have womapause which is an equivalent of menopause for men. Well if it's indeed womapause I certainly feel it more than most men do. To me today was just an ordinary Sunday until my cell phone gave a received message tone, another thing most Pastors don't prefer on Sundays. because It could be bad news that will change the rest of your day or just a Sunday morning encouragement from a Church member. Do I take it or not? I left it and went for a shower (the real shower) I kept thinking about the message  my mind  trying to see if I could guess who it came from and what it was about. I chose to settle for the easiest answer and that was maybe it came from Joyce since she left earlier she forgot something that she wanted me to bring along I settled for this answer since it made more sense than all others.
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Thoughts To Keep You Going Over the Weekend - MVK

* God is not interested in perfect people, rather He is looking for people He can perfect in doing two things. First in pursuing their purpose and secondly in finding and acknowledging the source of their perfection
* Trying to be perfect without God is like trying to run your car on water, you are guaranteed to go nowhere
* It is God who ignites in us the desire to run after our purpose
* God preserves our dreams until we are able to fulfill them, therefore we can boldly declare that in Him there is no failure
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Education - Literacy - and Competence Day - 13 June 2010 at TFT 09:h00

Modise Moathlodi
Mumsy Makamo
Class of the 70's
 In celebration of Youth month we, at the The freeway Tabernacle will be celebrating our second annual Education; Literacy; and Competence day [ELC] on Sunday the 13th June 2010. This year our two fold vision in celebrating the day is to Encourage those already doing something to make a difference in their lives through learning and doing diverse things that will ultimately bring a visible transformation in their lives and their communities. And to challenge those at ease waiting and hoping that something will come up. Our philosophy is that the only true treasure we all possess is the time we have   in this world. We encourage especially the youth since they have more time than all others to recognize it as the only commodity that they can give in exchange for all the dreams they have. On the day we will also be recognizing Academic, Technical and Entrepreneurship achievements. Some companies and organizations will be on display and consultants will be available to give information. We request that those who do their respective jobs in uniform:    
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MVK Zone Devotionalist - Mrs. Joyce Kotu - TFT- Soweto

Joyce Kotu
Mrs Joyce Kotu is married to Montoedi Kotu. They are blessed with two children Tumelo and Lerato who are now adults. They reside in Winchester Hills, south of Johannesburg. She is the co-founder of Reach Out For Christ Ministries International, a family of Churches in and outside of RSA. and ministers along side her husband at The Freeway Tabernacle in Midway, Soweto. She is the director of ROFCMI ladies fellowship, a ministry towards ladies that is held annually. Joyce is the resident Psychologist at The Freeway Tabernacle. A people's person by nature, Joyce is an ex fashion model and a dancer. Joyce is also a seasoned preacher and public speaker. This is what her husband has to say about her: "Joyce has a heart of gold. She is rich in grace and understanding. You don't just come across her kind easily is this world. And that's my own judgement. She is the kindest person I know so far on this planet. After I gave my heart to Jesus, Joyce took whatever is left of it. She occupies my mind most of the time. She's just too special. Yes, she is that special. I constantly pray to God. "Lord, let me be the first to come home. I can't imagine this life without her. I salute her.
The Freeway Tabernacle - Chris Hani Road - Midway - Services: Sunday 9:00-12:00. Tel: 011 980-5970 - Email: joyce@rofc.co.za Read More!

Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 8

After knowing what preferences are and how to handle them, I want us to go through principles. I have come across folks who claim to be living without following any strict principles. They say their lives are not controlled by any law at all. What these guys don't realize is that living by no principles is a principle by itself just as Lawlessness is a law by itself. People who break the law simply don't agree with it and as a result they live by their own laws. Therefore they have their own self made principles that govern them. Principles are standards; rules; beliefs;theories and attitudes that were handed down from one generation to another. Or that are laid out by anyone to govern themselves;or other people; or things. Let me give you an example of some of my own principles: I don't lend people money, I would rather give it to them simply because I try to avoid any future disputes just in case they can't pay me back I made this principle after being at loggerheads with folks. In the same way I don't borrow money from anyone for the same reasons. This is my principle on money. But then same rule changes between me and the bank because I do borrow money from the bank.
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