Why I Think Some Marriages fail Despite All Good Efforts To Make Them Work - Part 3

What I have shared in the past two articles; about the type of families we come from, the experiences we had, and above all else the possibility of us not becoming any different from our parents became the very reasons why that afternoon 29 years ago we decided we were going to get married anyhow. That day as my father's son I knew that his failures were not transferable at all.That I was an individual created in the image and likeness of God with a written plan for my life by God. My heart was filled with great compassion, compassion I could not explain even up to this day. When I looked at Joyce at that time the first I realized was that the last thing she needed in her life was a husband. I knew she was right when she said she was not going to get married to any man. Joyce being the her mother's only child needed first an elder brother, then a father, then a friend, and lastly a husband. I knew that if I can successfully became all these in the same order then I can ultimately become the husband she never wanted.
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Why I Think Some Marriages fail Despite All Good Efforts To Make Them Work - Part 2

Joyce told me how she grew up in a family where her father was never present. She said she never knew him or saw him, and she was told that he passed away when she was still too young to can remember anything. This apparently led her to experiencing a life that was not the kind that any kid would appreciate have. To top it all off even the house they were living in did not belong to her mother, it was a "family house" as they are known in township lingo and all the homeless relatives had the right to find shelter in it. She witnessed how her mother single handedly struggled to make ends meet, and how the only male figures; her uncles also did not have much time for a kid who was not their biological offspring. As we spoke I could pick up that she had a deep rooted resentment for men. This put me at the crossroads of whether I should give up or try harder to convince her to give us a chance since we both came from dis-functional families. At this I must say that in my heart I felt much drawn to her than before. I knew it in my heart that I could be that man who can make both Joyce and my mother to believe that there are still better men in this world . But as to how I hoped to pull off this one, only God knew. I had no idea at all as to how I would embark on the task. Well, the truth about Joyce's father was that he was alive and well all this time, but she only met him on the afternoon after her mother's funeral, and this was 17 years after we got married.
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Why I Think Some Marriages fail Despite All The Good Efforts To Make Them Work - Part 1

First I wish to indicate that I'm not a marriage counselor at all. therefore I'm not too sure if this disqualifies me from speaking on the subject, Especially trying to speak to others about it at this level. But I'm trying to convince myself that being a product of a broken marriage myself yet having succeeded in remaining committed to the same woman for 28 years should at least give me an audience with my peers and those who are younger than myself in marriage. Having said that I also wish to indicate that I will not be able to speak on the whole matter all at once in this article. I will speak a little each day until I have said all I can.
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Prosperity begins when our task is to live for God and nothing else. Part 3 MVK

A CALL TO CONTENTMENT
Most people think that a call to contentment by God is a way of keeping us mum and depriving us of our freedom to question God about situations and the things that we don’t like. I wish to highlight that I was not taught contentment by the Church but by my parents. In our family you never complained just for the sake of doing so, we were taught to make sure that our grievances were legitimate or else you got an hour long lecture for ‘taking things for granted’. More than this affecting us negatively it helped us to view things in a more realistic and Godly manner, and unlike most kids we grew up more appreciative than negative. As I mentioned in one of my previous articles; my family was more on the average side of life, not very poor but definitely not rich either. We grew up knowing and acknowledging that it took a lot of efforts from our parents’ side to keep us the children alive. How I wish that today’s generation could just realize that too.


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