At this point I wish to explain a number of things about the people we marry. There is a lot of ignorance about each other's past and these "ignorances" actually become the devil's secret weapons in our relationship. Let me draw a picture of a young girl who grew up without a father and was sexually abused by a male neighbour she tried to trust. When this girl grows up to become a woman she does not necessarily become ready to yield to, and trust any man and the last thing she needs in her life is a sex maniac! and this does not require a genius to figure out why. Another example would of another woman who grew up in a very fine family but because she was the eldest she had to take care of her siblings just as if they were her own children, the way a woman should. When she grows up she will definitely want to be married but may have a problem having children for the first few years of her marriage. These examples are not uncommon at all, these things happen to men as well. Therefore this calls for men and women who know all about their spouses' past otherwise you find yourself in a situation where you you have to take your partner to psychologists and psychiatrists when you could have become one yourself if only you had asked where your partner comes from and what they have gone through, and not only listened but heard. Worst still others try to use the very families they witnessed failing to try and resolve their dilemmas. These things are easy to pick up if you are a good listener.
I promised Joyce back then, and by the grace of God I have been able to be live up to my promises.One thing I have realized with most married folks is that they lack integrity in the promise department. Most couples are champions outside their families. They will cross rivers for friends, families, and even friends' friends. But will break away from any commitment they made to their spouse without even a prick to their conscience. I know the following might sound very funny to those who have no idea of what I'm talking about. My fatherly commitment to Joyce has always included the following: Every father cares about their children's welfare and general needs. This includes a father's heart; a fathers touch; a fathers talk and a fatherly approach to some issues. It takes quite some skill to know when and how to respond like a father than a husband to the same person.There are times when as a father I buy my wife things but then there are also those times when as husband I give her the money to go buy the same things for herself.
This is the most exciting, For all these years whenever it's Joyce's birthday I always buy different things. As a husband there will always be a bottle of perfume; a romantic card and anything else that lovers buy each other. But in all her gifts I have included what girls wish their father's bought them; a Teddy bear and a box of chocolate and some cash! All these in one packet. Some from Hubby and others from Dad! you can't beat this!
To be continued