Articles by Dr. Charles Mahlangu - The Freeway Tabernacle - Soweto

Dr Charles Mahlangu was born and raised in Soweto, South Africa. He married Delores 11th October 1975 in Steinbach, Manitoba, Canada and is father to Bonganinkosi and Lindiwe.
Local Church: The Freeway Tabernacle
Their life verses are: Ephesians 4:7-16, It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up.
Life Passion: To be a part of transforming mediocre unsatisfying marriages into joyous loving marriages that glorifies God and attracts others to Him.
Hobbies: viewing wildlife, jogging, Comrades Marathon six times.
Present Ministry:Founder and lecturer of Nisela Marriage Resource.
Mission statement: To train emerging church leaders to build strong God-honouring marriages. Dr Mahlangu has developed a counsellor training course. This course is valued at 12 credits towards a Bachelor of Theology degree when enrolling at the South African Theological Seminary in Rivonia. This course is presently being taught at The Freeway Tabernacle.
Method: Train men and women through seminars and resources that are based on biblical principles. These leaders will then be skilled to counsel marriages and families in their Churches.
Desired Outcomes: Strong marriages and families that can withstand the pressure of today’s temptations and the deterioration of morals.Educational Background:
Doctor of Philosophy Christian Education. [D.Phil] Biola University [Talbot School of Theology] La Mirada, California.
Doctor of Education [D.Ed] in 1990, converted to PhD in 2001.
Master of Arts Biblical Studies: MA]1979, Calvary Bible College, Kansas City, Missouri[
Bachelor of Theology: [B.Th] Canadian Mennonite Univerisity:1975, Winnipeg, MB, Canada
Attended Prairie Bible College: 1970-1972, Three Hills Alberta, Canada
Attended Providence College: 1974-1975, Otterburne, Manitoba, Canada


Ordination by the Evangelical Church of Southern Africa, 1983, Mhlosheni, Swaziland
Ministry History
Marriage Counsellor: 1980 – to present. Developed church oriented marriage enrichment programs. Showing churches how to implement these programs
Pre-Marital Counsellor: 1980 – to present. Designed a Pre-marital counselling programme and a Pre-marital counsellor’s training manual. Training churches prepare their engaged couples
Principal: Evangelical Seminary of Southern Africa [ESSA], Pietermaritzburg, KwaZulu Natal, 2004-2008
Pastor: Manzini Evangelical Church, and later Manzini Fellowship Church, Swaziland, 1980-2002
Teaching the Zionist denominations, training pastors and church leaders in Christian family, systematic theology, 1981-1997.
Lecturer: Swaziland Evangelical Bible Institute, in Christian education and theological studies, at Ezulwini, Swaziland. 1980-1982
Co-director of Christian Education of the Evangelical Church of Southern Africa, provided teaching resources printed by his local church on Premarital Counselling, Men’s ministries, Women’s ministries, Marriage Enrichment, Couples ministries, the doctrines in Systematic theology; in Christian education workshops for leaders in Umlazi, Durban, and other venues from 1982-1998. [These were conducted in the Umlazi Evangelical Church; sessions were conducted two to three times a year, in five day format]
Pastor: Boissevain Bible Church, Boissevain, Canada, 1976-78
In The Past 30 Years
• developed men’s ministries, women’s ministries, couples ministries for the local church, and conducted training programs for other churches and denominations to embark upon, from 1981 till they left Swaziland.
• Charles and his local church team of elders began conducting workshops, retreats for couples, from 1980 till his departure from Swaziland.
• Charles and his elder Andy E.F. Simelane, designed workbooks, co-taught with elders in Swaziland as well as South Africa, from 1981 till 2002.
• Designed resources in premarital and marriage enrichment, men’s ministries and couples ministries that were printed by the local church. These resources were available to other churches.
• Design workbooks for local churches in all the doctrines in Systematic theology, particularly doctrine of the Holy Spirit, and doctrine of the church, and Christian leadership.
• Designed a program for young adults, an integration of Christian Living plus premarital counselling [Extension Education Programme, EEP]. Local church leaders taught this program for years
• Throughout the Pastoral ministry in Swaziland, the Mahlangus promoted marriage ministries by training others.
• Throughout their Pastoral ministry the Mahlangus promoted diligent teaching of emerging leaders, through elders being taught to teach by passing on to others
• Charles and Delores have believed that the work of the shepherd is nothing else except to diligently train others through quality resources so that the local church is the centre for preparing the saints for the work of the ministry
• Charles conducted training programs for church leaders around Pietermaritzburg, in two week-long sessions in premarital counselling, in 2004 with Andy Simelane from Swaziland, and during 2007.
• As Principal, he lectured in Christian marriage and home, Christian education, Gospel of John, Pastoral Epistles, Ethics [all these in the Bachelor of Theology, Diploma, and Certificate programs].
• During 2006, and 2007, Charles taught in the B.Th [Honours] program on Christian Leadership in Africa
• Charles led the Seminary in the establishment of a partnership with South African Theological Seminary in Master of Theology programs, in 2008.
• Charles serves as Master of Theology advisor for South African Theological Seminary in the Christian Education department.  
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Dr Mahlangus Articles


Roving through Psalm 119
For lovers who love Yahweh
There is the possibility for lovers to be blessed by God. The lovers can choose the quality of life God blesses. The lovers are guaranteed certain favours by God. However, this is going to cost them. Are they willing to become blameless in the sight of God? Are they willing to commit themselves in their marriage to walk with God? Are they willing to seek God wholly in their hearts? Are they willing to be diligent in the study and pursuit of the Word of God? Are they committed to make their marriage centred in the will of God? Are they committed to pursue purity as godly spouses? Then the lovers’ hearts will overflow with joyful praises.


119:1-8
These lovers are controlled by the Word of God for the law is the Word of God. The testimonies are the word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The statues are the Word of God. The commandments are the Word of God. The lovers must obey the Word of God in this marriage. [1-8]. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely on for success in their marriage.


119:9-16
The lovers are convinced the Word of God alone is sufficient authority for what constitute purity, godliness, and holiness. However, the hearts of the spouses must be constantly saturated with the counsel of God. These spouses must come up with creative ways to make the Word of God invade this marriage through their lives. The lovers must make the Word of God absolute source of reference for all issues they face in their marriage. If the Word of God is the defensive capability. The lovers are committed to put the instructions of the Word of God in all areas of life. The lovers are resounding with praises to God since they find ways to delight in God. Since they find ways to put obedience of this Word of God in their marriage. The lovers have committed themselves to seek God, to fix their hearts to fulfil his ways. After all, testimonies, the laws, the precepts, the Word, the rules, the commandments all describe the Word of God. The lovers must not forget to obey the Word of God in this marriage.


119:17-24
The lovers submit themselves to pursue the purposes of God in their marriage. May God be merciful as they seek to find out what God would have them do. How they long to be consumed with a holy passion: longing for the Word of God to rule at all times in this marriage. How can this not be a source for great outpourings of praise and worship?
The lovers will individually and jointly mediate diligently on the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The commandments are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The lovers express that the scripture is the ultimate source of delight for the Word of God is the counsellor. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers depend on for marital success.


119:25-32
The lovers cry out to God. Cause us to understand your Word. Cause sorrow to melt as the joy of the Lord becomes our strength. Cause us not to cease to find fulfilment in meditating on your Word. Cause us to avoid the entrapment as we seek you with all our hearts. The statues, the precepts, the law, the rules, the testimonies, and the commands, all describe the Word of God to be obeyed in the marriage.


119:33-40
The lovers’ direct prayer of intention: Help us grasp your revealed truth then we will make our marriage a miracle to be shared.
Where you illuminate your Word to us, we will observe it with our hearts. Confirm your promises. We will continue to be doers of the Word in our marriage. Statues, law, commandment, testimonies, rules and precepts refer to the Word of God to be obeyed in different contexts. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers depend upon for marital success.


119:41-48
The lovers trust the unfailing love of God. Termites will not overcome conflicts multiplied will only intensify steadfastness in God’s sovereignty. The lovers promise to obey the law forever and ever. The lovers pledge to glorify God to sing his praises to other. The lovers pledge to meditate on the Word of God. The lovers pledge to share with others the steadfastness of the lord which never ceases. The rules refer to the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precept refers to the Word of God. The testimonies tell of the Word of God. The commandments are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. With resources like this how could the lovers be insecure in their marriage? Meditation is intense intercession that the lovers depend upon for marital success.


119:49-56
The two lovers articulate the promises of God. The lovers express fervent hope in the faithfulness of God. Whatever conflicts or challenges or fears they come across in their marriage, they will be shielded by the presence of the God whose Word they always obey. So great is their confidence that they break into worshipping the God they constantly submit to. The lovers are driven
The lovers find their joy in obeying God in their marriage. The lovers’ delight for God is a source to delight in each other. It is precisely the love for God that enables them to draw on the divine resources to invest in their intimacy.
The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely on to live on marital success.


119:57-64
The lovers make an abiding promise to live to obey the Word of God in this marriage. The lovers express their attitude of prompt obedience. They acknowledge the need to avoid entrapments in their walk and marriage.
The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The lovers will rejoice in the Lord. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:65-72
The lovers acknowledge all things work together for good even testing and afflictions are a source of drawing upon the promises of God. The lovers acknowledge that the challenges encountered in marriage only compound the resolve to make the word of God more valuable than gold and silver.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:73-80
The lovers acknowledge the sovereignty of God in their lives and marriage. The lovers exult over the faithfulness of God. The law of God is the delight of lovers committed to walking with God.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:81-88
The lovers look up to God during severe catastrophes. As spouses in the relationship, the lovers are determined to endure hardship. For the joy of the Lord is their strength. The lovers pray for strength from above to be consistent to obey God at all times.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:89-96
The lovers firmly believe the faithfulness of God which endures forever, will make their marriage fulfil God’s intent. The lovers firmly believe that it is obeying the Word of God which establishes the marriage. The lovers pledge to themselves and to God that they will never wilfully disobey God in this marriage.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:97-104
The lovers express that to love God with all of one’s being means to be in love with God’s Word, to let the counsel of God permeate all of one’s being. The lovers commit themselves to purity. “I hold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your Word…”
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:105-112
The lovers seek God’s direction for marriage goals from the Word of God. The lovers are guided by the light of God’s Word. The lovers’ supreme pledge is that the Word of God is their heritage forever. The lovers pledge to be found doing the Word of life forever to the end…”
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:113-120
The lovers lay down policies to be single-minded in their devotion to obedience. The lovers make God their hiding place and shield, for all the challenges faced in their marriage. They declare a persistent longing to be enabled to submit to the authority of God.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:121-128
The lovers establish policies to exhaust resources of the Word of God for growth and maturation of their marriage. The lovers invest in scriptural resources to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. The lovers establish principles to measure their spiritual growth.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:129-136
The lovers exult over God’s provision of the Word of God. The lovers exult over the specific and measurable growth in their marriage. The lovers pledge for their lives and marriage: “No iniquity gets dominion over me!”
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:137-144
The lovers are zealous for the things of God. The lovers are zealous for obedience. The lovers pledge to model righteousness in their marriage. The lovers’ greatest anguish: to understand the will of God in their lives.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:145-152
The lovers’ all-round mentality is that of worship. The lovers’ expression of all-round dependence on God’s sovereignty. The lovers’ all-round pledge to observe the Word of God by constant obedience.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:153-160
The lovers’ pledge to not swerve from the devotion to God. The lovers hold each other accountable: How devoted are we to loving God with all our being? How devoted are we to consistent obedience of the Word of God in our lives? How is this claim visible in our own marriage: The sum of your word is truth and every one of your righteous rules endures forever?
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:161-168
The lovers glorify God for his sovereignty in their marriage. The lovers list specific ways God has blessed them abundantly in the marriage. The lovers glorify God for what God will do in this marriage according to his will for them. The lovers’ philosophy: “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” The lovers encourage each other to be creative in their worship and praise. The lovers hold each other accountable to always glorify God for everything that happens in this marriage: “Are we glorifying God for all things?”
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.


119:169-175
The lovers’ pressing plea: a prayer for understanding the Word of God in this marriage. A prayer for deliverance in this marriage. A prayer for defence in this marriage. A prayer for restoration: I have gone astray like a lost sheep.
The commandments are the Word of God. The rules are the Word of God. The statutes are the Word of God. The law is the Word of God. The precepts are the Word of God. The testimonies are the Word of God. Meditation is intense intercession the lovers rely upon for marital success.
To Him be the glory.
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Psalm 19:7-11
The law of the Lord is perfect
Reviving the soul
The testimony of the Lord is sure
Making wise the simple
The precepts of the Lord are right
Rejoicing the heart
The commandment of the Lord is pure
Enlightening the eyes
The fear of the Lord is clean
Enduring forever
The rules of the Lord are true
And righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold
Even much fine gold
Sweeter also than honey
And the drippings of the honeycomb.
Moreover by them is thy servant warned
In keeping them there is great reward


THE CLAIMS
The Word of God [law] is perfect: it revives the soul.
The Word of God [testimony] is sure: it makes wise the simple
The Word of God [precepts] is right: it rejoices the heart.
The Word of God [commandments] is pure: it enlightens the eyes.
The Word of God [fear] is clean: it endures forever.
The Word of God [rules] is true: it is righteous altogether.


How reliable are the 6 claims above? How reliable are the 6 claims to this couple, this believer living in contemporary context?
Exhortation; “More to be desired than gold and much fine gold, sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.” Psalm 19:7-11
The lovers, individuals are urged: The six-fold description of the counsels of God must be diligently pursued, desired and sought. The verse claims that the Word of God is as precious and valuable a treasure as gold. The lovers must make this discovery in their own lives. The lovers need the Word of God for personal survival.
Are all the Psalmist’s claims holding true for this couple, this individual reading the text today? Is the old fashioned Hebrew book written over a 1400 year period by some 40 authors, in a largely Oriental setting, valid from the contemporary challenges of a post modern Christian culture in an African setting?
Does the word of God have the therapeutic value to revive, and heal being a reservoir of well-being for marital intimacy? [Revive the soul? Perfect]
Does the Word of God have the value to expand the knowledge of God’s will for spouses in marriage? [Make wise the simple? Sure.]
Does the scripture inform? Does the scripture provide knowledge? Does the scripture give understanding?
Does the scripture broaden the intellectual grasp of one?
Does the scripture edify?
Reprove? Rebuke? Admonish? Instruct? Educate?
Does the Word of God provide insight into accessing the life of joy in spite of trials and conflicts the contemporary married couple encounters? [Rejoicing the heart? Right!]
How is the husband or wife enabled to rejoice everything while encountering conflicts in communication? How does scripture affect inner tranquillity in the lives of the spouses? Where is the value of scripture in the face of unemployment, financial stress or long term physical incapacitation? How does a couple exult to praise
God in everything, when the marriage faces instability and insecurity?
Where is the scriptural solution for mounting marital communication conflicts which go unsettled [chronologically]?
Where is the joy of the Lord when one spouse no longer feels loved and accepted?
Does the Word of God provide insight in conflict resolution? Does the Word of God skill the spouses with effective communication skills in the marriage?
Does the Word provide insight for economic problems that couples often face? How so?
How does the Word enable the spouses to develop healthy habits to groom the marital intimacy to its well-being and success?
How do the teachings found in scriptures help couples establish a policy for child rearing? [Pure: the law enlightens the eyes.]
Do couples find scriptures valuable for personal growth and maturation?
Does the Word of God provide directives for marital roles for each spouse that are relevant for marriage today as they were relevant for marriages in the Greco-Roman world at the writing of the New Testament epistle? [It is clean: the Word of God endures forever].
With regards to personal living: how are the teachings of scripture valid for today’s moral ethical challenges? In the segment on personal purity and overcoming sin, how are the instructions of the Word of God useful for the couple today?
Where called upon to weigh the value of scripture on the subject of husband, wife and family, which areas are valid today as opposed to those that are irrelevant?
Peter wrote: “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass the grass withers and the flowers fade but the Word of the Lord remains forever.” [1 Peter 1:24, 25] How is this found to be so? What is eternal? What remains forever?
How does the married couple find the scriptures to be indeed “true and righteous altogether”? How is the scripture a personal guide to righteousness to this couple today? How are the scriptures the final authority on matters of righteousness? How does the married couple see the scripture as absolute on matters of sin, purity, reconciliation and peace making? How does this couple see the authority of the Word of God in times of marital conflict and sin in their marriage? How is the teaching of the Word of God relevant on matters of confession and forgiveness in the challenges of marital conflicts today? How relevant is scripture regarding sin, confession and forgiveness?
The couple need to know the scriptures. They need to be intimately acquainted with God’s provisions. The lovers must be consistently connected with teaching ministries that build the soul. They must b disciplined to follow after marriage resources for their enrichment. They must strategize ways of arming themselves for the battles that occur in marriage.
Finally, “Moreover by them is your servant warned and in keeping them, there is great reward.” [Psalm 19:7-9]
The six claims are signals for the reader to respond to. The 6 statements weigh heavy on demanding the verdict to the reader to keep and do. To observe. To follow. To put into action. The promise of glittering gold, sweetness of the honeycomb point to the condition to obey. The married couple has the challenge:
Whatever is taught. This, do.
Whatever is warned against. Flee.
Whatever is commanded. Obey.
The lessons from Psalm 19:7-11, the Word of God is absolute resource for all life: do it. The law is perfect. Obey it. The precepts are right. Do it by obeying. The judgements are final. Obey it. The testimony is reliable. Obey the Word. The commandments of the Lord are right. Obey the Word.
The Word of God is cited as law. The Word is perfect since it ‘revives’ the soul. How does this scripture fit the description ‘perfect’?
How does the scripture revive the soul? Cite references from the book of Psalms
1 on the virtues of the Word of God
2 on specific enriching capacity to the needs of people.
Cite references from the first five books of the Bible. Demonstrate how the law is cited as a resource to the inner need of a person. Cite references from Hebrew prophets from Ezra to Malachi. Demonstrate how scripture is a treasure to the inner needs of a person. E.g reviving the soul.
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POEM - FIRST LOVE LOST

Lover, you have lost the first love.
Where has all the intimacy gone?
Where is the irrepressible drive to ignite each other like we did before?
Why is the anticipation for physical closeness we believed we could never live without?
What has caused this chasm to render us dwelling foreigners with no will to reach out?
Where is physical, emotional closeness the intimacy that is the memory of bygone romance?
We do not touch each other meaningfully any more.
I miss your body.
I miss even the longing for physical intimacy.
Is it routine work that consumes, for we don’t have time for making time for each other?
I go to bed with a stranger.
I now dwell with an alien.
I miss the meeting of kisses long, deep, sensual ferreting of each other’s tongues as we languish in each other’s bodies, and melting as one-flesh.


It seems we are creating excuses to have nothing to say about lost intimacy.
I miss expressing with my heart that I will be intimate with you forever.
I miss intimate conversations with you with four hands-clasping, and eyes gazing into each others.
I miss hand-clasped walks as we talked of permanent adoration.
I miss intimate cards with romantic assurances.
I miss the anticipation of planned dreams and faraway goals.

How I miss our sexual union!
How I used to drool with anticipation of your touch in every part of my body.
How I miss the creativity of prolonged kisses that literally drove me wild with sensual delight.
How I miss the unpredictable moves that heightened holy desire for you.
You seemed to know what to say and where to touch.
How I miss the pulsating love-making.
We took our time to erotically fulfil each other as the Word commands married couples to do.

Lover, you have become depressingly predictable in kisses far and few in between.
Lover, our love-making is a tedious affair.
We have gradually become strangers.
We talk to each other as detached business consultants, and not as lovers.
We talk to each other as if we are paid to do it.
We talk as if there are other far important issues besides us.
We talk as if we have lost interest in and with each other.
We talk as if all of passion is drained.
We talk as if it is too much effort to speak with each other intimately anymore.
We seem to have nothing in common with each other anymore.
What happened to the desire to sustain a healthy communication system between each other?
What happened to previously established patterns of honesty and sincerity in communication?
How could we have allowed intimacy to decay with such flawlessness?
How could we have stood by to let romance decay?
What happened to gentleness of tone in our face to face routine dealings?
What happened to patience with each other?
How could we have drifted to the extent of losing pure joy in this union?

I search for a brief smile on your face, a scarcity of monstrous proportions today!
I miss the smile of assurance of belongingness.
I miss the affirming smile whispering softly,   “It is well with my soul.”
I miss your soul.
I fail to recall the last time I heard laughter unrestrained, as you looked intently into my face.
I miss the gentleness of speech controlled wholly by the might of the Holy Spirit.

I am gripped by fear that I am not any longer the love of your life.
Your outburst of anger is devastating.
Your angry silence lasts for a month of Sundays.
It goes for months of compounding misery, with no words uttered.
I perceive bitterness of tone.
Am I reading this correctly?
I hear vindictiveness in uttered icy words.
I sometimes think there is an element of hatred that drives sleep away.
I am disturbed by the hostile sound in your voice.
Have I become so devastating that I drive you wild with rage?
Am I now the source of endless arguments where we fight over words?
We murder each other with uttered and unuttered words, only to emerge more vindictive than ever.
In a fit of rage you have verbalized spears like arrows targeted to bleed me internally.
I have returned the favour by doing likewise.
It seems as if once we start shouting at each other, we lose control all together.
Could this be hatred that we have degenerated to?

Lover, there are moments where I fear to be in your presence, not knowing what mood prevails.
How could we drift apart so easily?
This emotional divorce drives me insane.
This speechlessness has drained all joy.
Tomorrow is bleak.

How could conflict unresolved become successfully unresolved?
How could we allow conflict to tear us apart so badly?
How could we allow conflicts to reign to the obliteration of intimacy?
How could we allow conflict to drown our romance?
How could we allow conflict to haemorrhage our intimacy?
How could we allow conflict to gradually become a way of life in this marriage?

Gone are the hands-with-hands prayer togetherness that held us together.
Gone is the intimate hands-with-hands eye gazing face to face intimate talking that cemented our love for a long time.
Gone is the hands-clasping- hands walking as we sought to build each other in this marriage, sharing bosoms, heightening our commitment to each other.
Gone is the longing for each other as we did for years.
Gone is the passion for each other to strive to build the intimacy by all might, as we did in the distant past.
Gone is the affection in this union.

Lover, you have lost your first love.
What happened to the lovers’ covenant to forgive, forgive, and forgive?
You have lost the capacity to forgive.
You refuse to practice forgiveness.
My shortcomings are permanent barriers as you insist on bringing back the past.
You look at me with anger that recites all my sins.
Our marriage is no longer sealed by the acceptance that forgives, forgives, and forgives seventy times seven.

Gone is the life of forgiveness, gone is the capacity to speak the truth in love,  in order to forgive, forgive, and forgive, seventy times seven.
You live as if you cannot count on me forgiving you seventy times seven, as I have yielded to the agony of failing to forgive.
The tragic fact is we refuse to forgive each other of all wrongs.
The maturity to forgive from the heart is not part of our marital culture.
You recite my weaknesses in horror as I constantly remind you of your past sins long after the God of heaven has cleansed me with the blood of Christ.

Lover, I have furtively wondered a way out.
Internally, I have dared the impossible: have we come to the end?
Privately, I have begun to wonder if any love for me remains anywhere within your soul.
Lover, I suspect, you have lost your first love.
Where is the romantic code to apologize?
Where is the attitude of practicing apology in this marriage?
I long to see your face apologize.
I crave for this priceless gem of apology.
Lover, I confess I have lost my first love.
I know where I have fallen in this marriage.
Lover, it is I who kneels to acknowledge to you, that I have sinned.
I know the extent of my sins against you.
It is I who holds the list of all deeds done against you.
It is I who acknowledges I have compounded my sinful deeds against you.
It is I who pleads for the hearing of profound evils from the heart.
It is I who on bended knees shouts to you: Against you have I sinned grossly.
It is I who submits in humility that I need full disclosure of sinful attitudes held against you.
It is I who maintains that I have allowed sin to enter into this marriage.

It is I who gave the very devil, a major foothold, through rage, etcetera,
It is I who furtively entertained the worst imaginable: the notion of another object of affection. Imagine the frightening depth of inner depravity I was sinking to.
It is I who began to wish for the end of this union without the courage to execute evil intent.
It is I who wanted to see you bleed under my assaults: why couldn’t you give in anyway?
It is I who refused to humble myself to you, as I know God to be commanding me in the Word, for the aspect of divine revelation is thoroughly understood, without being obeyed. by yours truly.
It is I who would not surrender to the authority of God in this marriage.
It is I who owes you a thousand times over, that I have sinned against you.

It is I who should, and must make amends in this marriage.
It is I who should be hanging for dear life on you [and not let go] to please let me have another opportunity to be the best lover to you on planet earth.
It is I who should be saying: “I will die without you in my life”, and seek to demonstrate this.
It is I who should be saying to you that I will seek consultation with mature saints
To help me become a more Godly, effective and successful spouse to you.
It is I who should be providing the evidence of where this help by human resources is going to come from to save this marriage from further decay.
It is I who should be covenanting with you to further, show evidence of belonging
To an accountability partnership with someone, or a group,
To make me more Christ-like, to enrich this marriage as an outcome.

It is I who should be expressing the commitment to exhaust all means to eradicate all evils against you, by all might by the enabling capacity of the Lord, Jesus Christ.
It is I who should be saying I am not giving up on this marriage and you.
It is I who says I acknowledge compounded evils against you, and please help me be cleansed by the Lord as to Him; I confess what I have done to you.
I apologize for unexpressed forgiveness.
I apologize for allowing this intimacy to suffocate.
I apologize for not apologizing to you when you needed to hear me tell you  how I needed you.
I apologize for not giving you my full attention.
I apologize for insisting on my subjective ego-centric dictates.
I apologize for deliberately frustrating you with cunning silence.
I apologize for not articulating how much I love you.
I apologize for fighting to maintain my pride in order to win the argument at the expense of affection.
I apologize for not sending romantic notes regularly.
I apologize for refusing to say: “I am wrong, and I have sinned against you.
Is there a way of making up for all my evils against you?”


So, I have lost my first love? There is redemption for me. There is healing available
For me, my spouse, and this marriage.
So, my spouse has reached a point of “no return”, and we are headed for separation and annulment?
This marriage can be restored, I can be restored.
Thank God Almighty for other human beings alive and well in the business of restoring, mending, healing broken marriages, and those on the brink of drowning
I can be helped, and so can my spouse be reached and ministered to.
So, this marriage is haunted by sexual infidelity, far beyond human comprehension?
How is it conceivable that a sinful deed, no matter how gross, can eternally become unreachable, to become a never-can-be-healed-or-restored?

Where mortals so choose to be beyond redemption, then no divine might exists to coerce them to accept grace.
However, where lovers acknowledge they have lost “first love”, and seek intervention of others to heal, redeem, restore,
Then it is possible for God through human resources to effect reconciliation.
I want my spouse with every fibre of my being, and likewise does my spouse want me.  
   
Thank God Almighty,
For comprehensive restoration is possible.
  
Charles Mahlangu 2009







This entry was posted on Thursday, September 02, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .

4 comments

Morgan lekgetho Mogagabe  

Dr Charles Mahlangu we thank God for inspired teaching and encouragement from you & your wife (Dee Mahlangu) and learn how faith in God's Word can take your life from ordinary to extraordinary..1 Peter 3 verse 7 Husbands giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel,that your prayers may not be hindered.

Doing a good job here sir, God bless you and give u more grace.

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