Living Up To Your Expectations

Failure,self-disappointment and self hate, these and many other similar feelings don't just come over us. We all put certain demands on ourselves hoping that we will be able to pull them through and when we fail to do so we enter a state of punishing ourselves beyond the limits of reasonable chastisement. It is fair and normal for us to be unhappy with ourselves when we have failed ourselves but how far we should go with the reprimand should not exceed the boundaries or else we end up totally destroying ourselves. Everybody has the right to have expectations about self and to be dissatisfied when he or she fails to achieve them. But we must be careful about how far we push ourselves in our quest to prove to ourselves that we are actually able to do even better than what the others say we can't do. Remember that you are your greatest motivator, critic and coach and if you destroy yourself through unreasonable criticism you may not recover from the self destruction that you mete out to yourself. I have learnt to love myself a little more than I should so that when I fail to achieve something's I should not be too harsh to myself but be lenient and patient with myself. I found this to be working more than my previous attitude towards myself. I used to be too harsh and I pushed myself beyond what I could bear and this left me disappointed many times. Leave yourself enough room for self forgiveness and self tolerance and you will find it easy to re-visit some of your past failures with a little more boldness than before. Re-visiting your failures is like re-visiting an accident scene, you want to go there and be like a forensic investigator and not like a victim. When a forensic investigator visits a crash site he goes there to investigate and find facts unlike the victim who re-visits the same crash site to find closure. There are so many things you can achieve in life if you learn to accept that you will not always win but that sometimes you will come out second best or even worse you may lose altogether. Trust God to give you the grace to be self-forgiving and everything you do will become a pleasure even if it is the toughest thing you have ever attempted to do in your life. Each time you show love and appreciation to the others do the same to yourself twice as much in order to increase the your ability to love and forgive. The Bible says that we must love our Neighbors as we love ourselves. Many of us will never be angry with our neighbors up to the point where we kill them but we will not hesitate to kill ourselves over the some petty issues. The bottom line is this; Put reasonable expectations on yourself and you will be able to achieve them. Be blessed - MVK Read More!


Joyce and I are embarking on a Spiritual refreshing outreach in Mabopane, Pretoria, entitled Destiny Reloaded. The meetings will be held monthly from July to december 2012 at the Morula Casino, Leseding Arena. The meetings are aimed at reaching out to people from all walks of life. We will be working hand in hand with Pastors' Monepi Motlanthe - Breakthrough In Christ Ministries, Mabopane and Alpheus Nkwana- Temple Of Glory - Mabopane. The dates and times of the meetings are reflected on the flyer. There is no charge for the meeting however the casino charges R20 per person/car at the entrance. 
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From my Book: Living Your life in Stereo. MVK


Jeremiah 17:10 – “I the Lord search the heart and examine
the mind.”
There are so many things God created using his infinite imagination
and ingenuity. God did this in order to display the vastness and depth
of his mind. Amongst all God’s creations, man stands far above the
rest. God created you to be like him and represent him to all the other
creatures. In Psalm 82:6 he even goes on to say, ‘you are gods’.
What makes man God’s most superior creation is not just the same
image and likeness between God and man, but also because God has
endowed man with the most superior mind, which stands matchless
against the minds of all creatures in the universe.
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Confessions of a Saved Person - The day I saw Jesus

In this article I wish to share with you how during my tough times I spoke to God not even knowing whether He will hear me or not, He responded in the most Extraordinary way.
The year was 2005 and I had been challenged by many sorts of hardships and my physical health was failing faster than I could handle it. I must confess that even though I was already Pastoring the second largest Church in Soweto I had reached a point in my life where I was ready to give up on everything because I was asking myself if It was really worth it to continue as if all was well with me. On Sundays I used take an overdose of all medicines I had just so I can make it through the Church service.

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How I learnt to trust in God - Part 1

If you’re ever going to trust in God make sure that you do it right first time. This will help you a lot in tackling all future challenges. Faith in God or believing in God, whichever way you chose to look at it must always be done right or else it does not work. When you do this, the very first thing you realize is how much you have been trusting in other things that took away all your ability to trust in the unseen God. First let me give you a background of where I come from then you will better understand these articles. In one of my previous posts I related how I belonged to a ‘gangster’ like group that gave me so much security that they had literally become my fortress in the township. During that era in the late seventies there were quite a lot of those both formal and informal criminal groups that you could not live without, that is if you really meant business with the township life. Some were simply for those needing to ‘just’ belong to a group and others were for those who were ‘more serious’ about belonging.
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Confessions Of a changed Person - Failure Is Just An Option - Part 2

One thing I need to mention before continuing today is that when tough times come upon us the first thing we naturally do is to panic. And here I'm using the simple word; panic but which in reality is more on the demonic side of life than we care to believe. There were times in those days when I would be overcome by more than just what I call "human care". I'm referring to those moments when you unconsciously do that inner stock taking not because you are worried but simply trying to put two and two together. Then all of a sudden this demonic spirit engulfs you up to a point where you just want to die and get out of your challenges. The second thing I wish to mention as a drawback to your progress is a lack of insight.

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Living Your Life in Stereo Book Launch 4 December

BOOK LAUNCH - 4 DECEMBER 2011 - 16H00 @ THE FREEWAY TABERNACLE. (Reach Out For Christ) Midway, Soweto

Name of Book: Living Your Life in Stereo
Author: Montoedi Kotu
Pages 272
Book genre: Devotional, Motivational and self help

RSVP & Enquiries: Delores Mahlangu - - 0825642345
To attend the launch please be advised that the cost is: R300 per person. which includes a signed copy of the book by the author. Extra copies will be available at R150 per copy
Reservations will close on the 1st December 2011 @ 16H00
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Ten Rules To Successful Thinking - Part 2 MVK

# 6 Think while you sleep

Train yourself to think round the clock, especially when your mind is at its most creative state, when you are asleep. I have noticed that some of the negative things that I refused to entertain during the day would suddenly come back after hours especially when I’m asleep. As a result I have resorted to making sure that I avoid all manner of negativity in the evening. I make sure that I read a bible verse or a chapter from a book that I would be busy with just before I sleep. In this way I make sure that my last deposit into my mind will enable me to think positively and creatively while I sleep. I have found many solutions to some problems during my sleep. Things that I was unable to resolve during the day were unlocked during that time of sleep and by the time I woke up the next morning I had the solution. I believe that nightmares and bad dreams are also a result of a mind that was allowed to sleep without being fed positive stuff to process.
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Ten Rules to successful thinking - Part 1 MVK


# 1 Think with your head

Your first line of defence or offence in the world of thinking and imagination is your mind. If you don’t use your thinking faculties properly and effectively then you can rest assured that your downfall will not be difficult. Failure to think soberly and successfully renders all your other virtues to be null and void.
The mind is the battleground where all the challenges that we face are either won or lost before we can fully get into the actual conflict. So go on and create the habit of allowing your mind to sift through all the information you receive including the things you hear, and the ones you can’t hear. Never take anything at face value because most things are not what they seem to be. In the book of Romans 12:2 the bible encourages us to renew our minds so that we might be able to judge things properly.
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Family Matters Workshop 24 July 2011

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When Life's Demands On Us Are More Than We Can Afford At That Moment

I woke up this morning with a feeling of being slightly overwhelmed by the so many small challenges that I face. I am not too sure about how to explain what I mean by saying “slightly overwhelmed” because I believe that you too will wonder what I am trying to say by that because it is commonly accepted that a person is either overwhelmed which means that they are totally defeated or else they must be absolutely “on top of their game” as the saying goes.
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Youth Seminar Power Point Presentation

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Family Matters Power point Presentation

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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 7

Today I will talk about 2 other things that are quite problematic in relationships today. They are Preferences and Principles. I do not wish to get too much into trying to give you the most accurate oxford dictionary meaning of these two words because the truth is, it is not knowing the definitions of words that make us accept the truth or the authority of the same. Let me give you an example: If you knew for the first time today that God means: self existent; all powerful; creator; mighty father; maker of all beings and one to whom we will have to give account on the day of judgement, Will it make you respect him better? I think no, it won't. Therefore I will just continue as if you know what these words mean, and in case you don't know, don't worry when i'm through explaining myself you will not only know what these words mean but also that what we know makes us responsible.

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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 6

By now I'm sure that it is evident to you  that I am not here to offer any professional advice but just honest; practical; and proven methods you can live by. The next point I wish to address today is the issue of Compromise. Many people even after they have entered into marriage and other relationships that require nothing but the best out of them, still fail to transform. The word compromise will only sound threatening to those who are dominant and or defensive by nature or from experience. I grew up with three elder sisters who did all kinds of "parental experiments" on me. Looking back I'm convinced that these ladies were rehearsing for their parental eras ahead of them using me as a model. They would send me to do things that were way beyond my ability at that time, and they also reprimanded me just the opposite of how real mothers would do.

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Why I Think Some Marriages Fail Despite All Good Efforts To make Them Work - Part 5

In this article I would like to contribute into the lives of those who are already married, and try help them to fill in some of those cracks that are already visible in their marriages. This will also come in handy to those who are already pledged to marry but are tempted to have second thoughts about going all the way.
I wish to repeat once more that I am not a marriage coach or counselor at all, but just a man who has been married to the same woman for the past 28 years, and still prepared to remain married to her for the remaining part of my life. I believe that the time Joyce and I have spent together peacefully; and that though both of us being not perfect in any way yet having succeeded in our marriage does give us some credit and room to instruct those younger than ourselves in marriage.
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Why I Think Some Marriages fail Despite All Good Efforts To Make Them Work - Part 4

I have always been able to look at my wife's shortcomings and successes from both a father and brother's point of view. I would come home after work and Joyce would have prepared a "not so good meal" this happened quite often simply because we both come from different families that prepared their meals differently as well. When this happened the husband in me would wish to complain and criticize her but then the Father and the elder brother in me would quickly come to the surface and understand her point of view with regards to the meal at hand. I had to override my criticism with a compliment and a bit of help to make it a better meal. And this was purely my own opinion of a better meal because I was using my moms cooking as a point of reference, and Joyce was preparing the meals using her moms methods. At this point allow me once more to say that if you are looking for a wife or a husband just like your mom or dad then you might as well call off the search as there are no duplicates in that department. This could even be worse if you are already married to someone and you are trying to transform them into becoming that.
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