Kids Say the Darndest Things

A Child's Perspective

The first graders at an Episcopal Sunday school in San Diego were told to draw on paper their conceptions of the "flight into Egypt" by Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus. One little girl turned in a picture of an airplane with three people in the back, all with halos, and a fourth up front without one. Perplexed about the picture, the teacher asked the little girl to explain.

"Oh," replied the youngster, "that's Mary, Joseph, and the baby Jesus in the back."

The teacher went on, "And what about the fourth person?"

"That," said the little girl with emphasis, "is Pontius, the pilot!"


Bethlehem Star

In this particular church it was the night of the annual children's Christmas program. There were little kids everywhere and the excitement was running high. There had been rehearsals with teachers practicing with their little charges. Parents were nervous along with the kids who were also uptight. It came time for the first graders to do their presentation...but it didn't quite come out as planned.

Thirteen of them were to walk across the platform, each carrying a letter-bearing placard. All together...if they were in correct order and in line...they would have spelled:


But somehow the "star" carriers got turned around and they went in backwards, so to speak, spelling out:

"B-E-T-H-L-E-H-E-M R-A-T-S!"


Watch Out

A certain little boy desperately wanted a watch. Day after day he begged his parents for a watch. His parents didn't see the real need and tried to ignore their son's requests. The boy's obsession became so great that the father finally forbade him to say another word about the watch.

Christmas was approaching and the boy knew that his opportunity for getting a watch depended on immediate action. But he also knew that his father had forbade him from bothering them. This would take some creativity. The boy's family had a tradition of learning a Bible verse every week and reciting it for the family at the end of the week. The boy carefully considered his choice of a verse and practiced it all week. At the time of recitation, he recited his verse without a flaw: "What I say unto you I say unto you all, WATCH!"

This boy got his watch.


Shopping His Own Way

A little boy about six or seven was lost during the Christmas shopping rush. He was standing in an aisle of the busy department store crying, "I want my mommy...I want my mommy." People kept passing by, patting him on the head, attempting to comfort him...and handing the unhappy child money--dimes, nickels, quarters, pennies, to keep him quiet and happy as they offered him help, which he refused.

Finally, one of the floor managers came over to him and said, "Son, I have found your mommy. I know where she is...."

The pathetic little guy looked up with tear-stained eyes and said, "So do I...now just you keep quiet!"


It's A God

A group of first graders decided that for this pageant they would produce their very own Christmas program. They produced their own updated nativity story. All the major characters were there...Joseph, the shepherds, the angels, the wise men from afar...but where was Mary?

Shortly after the production began, there was heard some moaning and groaning coming from behind the bales of straw...Mary was in labor!

A first grader doctor with a white coat and black bag was ushered onto the stage and then disappeared with Joseph behind the bales of straw. After a few moments, the doctor emerged from behind the bales of straw with a jubilant smile on his face and holding a baby in his arms. With great drama in his presence, he solemnly announced in a loud voice, to the audience: "It's a GOD!"

A recent survey revealed that one in three young adults had no idea that Jesus was born in Bethlehem. Other religious blank spots included the role of the Archangel Gabriel, with more than a quarter having no idea that Gabriel brought God's message to Mary at her home in Nazareth to say that she would give birth to a son.
So what do Britain's youngsters really know about Christmas? Femail quizzed four to nine-year-olds at four primary schools in Britain to find out.

What gifts did the three wise men bring?

Rashneet, six, from Broad Oak Primary School, Manchester: "The wise men brought coconut oil which was made of coconut, some sweets and some gold."
Jay, five, from Broomhill Infant School, Bristol: "The three wise men brought Jesus presents of gold, frankincense, smurr (sic) and silver. But I think he would have preferred wrestling toys."
Daniel, seven, from Stanfield Merchant Taylors' Junior School, Merseyside: "I know for his birthday he got money and gold from the wise men but I would have given him a Liverpool kit."
Dominic, six, Merchant Taylors: "I don't know what the three wise men brought Jesus but I would have given him a tin of biscuits. I think Mary, Joseph and Jesus would have all liked a biscuit."
Rebecca, five, Merchant Taylors: "They brought Jesus gold and myrrh but I would have brought him a nice warm blanket."
William, seven, Merchant Taylors: "I don't know what presents the wise men brought Jesus but a Lego set would have been better."
Ellie, five, Broomhill Infants: "The three wise men brought Jesus gold, frankincense and myrrh - no real presents. I feel sorry for him."
Ellie, six, Merchant Taylors: "When he was born three kings brought him gold, coins and a sheep."

What animals were there when baby Jesus was born?

Matthew, six, Merchant Taylors: "There were sheep, horses and a crocodile outside the stable."
Ruby, six, Broomhill Infants: "At his birth there were oxens, a donkey, three camels, three birds - all white - and three cats, all black."
Hannah, seven, Merchant Taylors: "There was a donkey, a sheep and cow there as well as Mary and Joseph. It sounds quite crowded."
Megan, six, Broomhill Infants: "The animals who were there in the stable were oxens, donkey, cats and a lamb."
Valente, six, Merchant Taylors: "There were camels, donkeys and cows around the stable and the wise men went to the manger to say hello to Jesus."

Who was the Angel Gabriel?

Erin, six, Broomhill Infants: "The Angel Gabriel is a big white fairy. He helped Mary and Joseph look after the baby - kind of like a doctor."
Jay, five, Broomhill Infants: "There was also an angel called Gabriel, whose favourite thing was to fly around all day."
Molly, six, Broomhill Infants: "Angel Gabriel was also there and he has yellow wings and a white costume."
Millie, seven, Merchant Taylors: "I don't know who the angel is but I like Jesus."
Katherine, nine, from St James' Church of England Primary School, Weybridge, Surrey: "Gabriel was this herald angel. He was a boy but he's played by a girl in Christmas plays."
Hollie, seven, Broomhill Infants: "The Angel Gabriel is a fairy that God sent to help us."

Who is Jesus?

Jay, five, Broomhill Infants: "Jesus was a king and he wore a crown even though he was a baby. It was a really small crown."
Antonia, seven, Merchant Taylors: "Jesus is Mary and God's little boy."
Molly, six, Broomhill Infants: "Jesus was a newborn king - but there were a lot of newborn kings so he wasn't the only one."
Zoe, six, Merchant Taylors: "Jesus is really old and his birthday was on Christmas 2007 years ago."
Sara, seven, St James' Primary: "Jesus is a mystery man."
Sarves, seven, Broad Oak: "Jesus is the God of the Christians."

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

Ellyshia, nine, St James' Primary: "I am not really a Christian. I believe in unicorns and pixies."
Ben, seven, Broad Oak: "We celebrate Christmas because Santa comes and gives us lots and lots of presents."

Where was Jesus born? six, Merchant Taylors: "A long way away from Liverpool."
Alexie, five, Broomhill Infants: "Baby Jesus was born in a stable made out of hay with string around it."
Daniel, seven, Merchant Taylors: "He was born in a stable where Mary and Joseph stayed. There were chickens, cows and a donkey. I don't remember any more."
Charlie, four, Broomhill Infants: "He was born in a stable a long way away from here in another country. Bethlehem - it's in England."
Erin, six, Broomhill Infants: "Jesus was born in the stable - it had lots of hairs."
Ellyshia, nine, St James' Primary: "Jesus was born in a barn, a shed or barn anyway. Or it might have been a stable, one of the three."

What did the wise men follow to find the stable where Jesus was born?

Hannah, seven, Merchant Taylors: "They followed a special Christmas star, which is only out around Christmas."
six, Broomhill Infants: "They followed a star to find Jesus, it's a very special star, but I forgot the rest."
Erin, six, Broomhill Infants: "They followed a star. It was really bright like the sun, even at night."

Who are his parents?

Charlie, four, Broomhill Infants: "Jesus's mummy and daddy are called Jovis and Mary."
Ansel, six, Broad Oak: 'Jesus's parents were Gods.'
Archie, seven, St James' Primary: "His parents were Mary and Joseph. That's easy because I was Joseph in the play."
Antonia, seven, Merchant Taylors: "Jesus's mum and dad are Mary and Joseph and they were very happy with the king's gifts."

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 21, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .



thank you, I have not laughed like that in a very long time.



laugh out loud..great one!!!
must say some of the q's made me to go back to my Bible.