In this article I wish to share with you how during my tough times I spoke to God not even knowing whether He will hear me or not, He responded in the most Extraordinary way.
The year was 2005 and I had been challenged by many sorts of hardships and my physical health was failing faster than I could handle it. I must confess that even though I was already Pastoring the second largest Church in Soweto I had reached a point in my life where I was ready to give up on everything because I was asking myself if It was really worth it to continue as if all was well with me. On Sundays I used take an overdose of all medicines I had just so I can make it through the Church service.
One thing Amazing though was that I prayed for the sick and demon possessed in our services. people were healed from worse conditions than I had and demons would come out of many screaming.
After each service questions would be racing through my mind.
By now it had been 12 full months since I was plagued by not fewer than four afflictions. I spent the past year suffering from a slipped disc, Asthma, Paralysis of the legs and hands.
I went to doctors who honesty did their best but for some strange reason I could not get any better.
I went to see a physiotherapist who advised me to go for surgery because he said that my spine was pinching on my nerves.
I would wake up in the middle on the night totally paralyzed from my waist down. up to a point that I would literally have to pick up both my legs without feeling them. Some nights both my hands would be stuck in fist like clutches and I could not open them I would wake up, sit there and just stare into the darkness asking myself that if Jesus really healed the sick does He know my name? and if yes He did know me does he care that I'm preaching His gospel.
All those nights God did not respond in any obvious way. He just kept quite and things remained the same. Night after night I suffered until one day I decided to use a different approach to speak to God. "God I know your word says you are my healer. I have seen you heal people in our services. God you have actually used me to heal these people,. But how come father that I'm suffering like this? have I done something wrong? is there anything I need to do that I'm not doing? But God just remained silent. He never said a word.
I knelt down and repeated the prayer of salvation. By this time I was born again 22 years ago. and have been preaching the gospel of Faith; healing; deliverance and Prosperity for 20 years. I did a self deliverance, praying over myself and even anointed myself with the anointing oil.
A few months went by and everything remained the same. Nothing had changed and like the woman with the issue of blood instead of getting better i got worse. By this time I was suffering from stress. I went to see a doctor who told me to "slow down or else you are endangering your life".
What this man did not know was that there was nothing I could do to better my life
One night during my prayer time I sat there not knowing what to say to God; Jesus; or the Holy Spirit. Deep down I knew I wanted to tell God that I was giving up on His work because I can't take it anymore. What's the use of serving Him if I can't even access some of His basic promises like healing. I ultimately found the courage to say it out. "Father in the name of Jesus I know that you are Good and that you want the best for me. You sent your son Jesus to die for both my sins and sicknesses. But Lord I have been sick now for more than 12 months and I have been asking you to heal me, and for some reason you did not. I know Lord that no one can force you to do things against your will but I have reached a point in my life where I have to confess that I need you to tell me why you cannot heal me. Thank you lord in Jesus' name. Amen"
That night I stopped right there and went to bed. My head was screaming at me but somehow I had this peace deep down in my heart. Weeks passed without any change taking place. But one night something very strange happened. Something that changed my life.
It was around 2 in the morning. I was sitting in the lounge on the couch praying. I was wide awake when it happened: The ceiling of the lounge began to move sideways like a car sunroof I was stunned and could not move. I just sat there and watched the whole happening. The ceiling continued to move until the skies appeared. The whole roof was gone and by now the outside breeze was blowing directly into the room where I was sitting.
As I sat there shocked but peaceful someone appeared in the sky above. He just floated in the air and looked down at me. We made direct eye contact, my heart was racing but otherwise I had total peace within me. He beckoned to me with his right had and the couch I was sitting on began to lift up from the floor towards Him I looked back and saw the room where I was sitting I kept going towards Him until I was totally out of the house. By now I could see the other houses around us, all the rooftops were below me.
When I was about 3 meters away from Him he put up his hand signalling me to stop. The couch stopped there in mid - air.I came face to face with Him. His eyes were piercing yet peaceful. He was smiling at me. He wore a long white satin-like robe, He had a thick gold rope around His waist, and wore sandals on His feet. His hair was hanging down His shoulders.
He never said a word, He just smiled as he looked at me. It took a few moments and He beckoned again with his hand and the couch began to descend back to the house. As it went down I was still looking at Him and by the time the couch touched the floor he left and the roof began to close as slowly as it opened. Immediately after the ceiling closed I stood up and went to bed. It was only now that I felt a bit of fear.
The next morning I woke up feeling very different. I realized during the day that the pains that I had around my waist for the past 12 months were gone. It took the whole week for me to be convinced that I was actually healed. Totally free from all my afflictions. Within a month my financial challenges were all gone. I paid off all my debts. I began to prosper in literally everything I do. It's been 5 years now and I'm still free from sickness and disease. I have everything I need, even more than I need. And above everything else I am at peace with God
This experience reminded me of Jacob when he wrestled with God. Genesis 32:26-28 The man said "let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied,"i will not let you go unless you bless me." The man asked him,"what is your name?" "Jacob,"he answered. Then the man said,"your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,because you have struggled with God...."
I changes your whole life - Amen...