Confessions Of a Changed Person - On Purpose, Passion, And Excellence [From my archives]

I have always wanted to be someone above average in life, and like most normal kids I grew up admiring great people, and there has always been those people who stuck out in every society. Around the late 60's Doctors; Nurses; Teachers; Policemen and Clerks were the cream of the crop.It required at least a standard 6 [grade 8] back then to be one of some of these people yet it was still more like rocket science to some, and as a result this group remained small. Second to this group preachers were also acknowledged in the society, but I don't remember a single kid standing up in class and telling the teacher that they were going to become one when they grew up. Like most kids I wanted to be a doctor, and that's what I even promised my primary school teachers including my family back then.
Today at 51 looking back i'ts been 40 years since I left primary school, here am I and I have become what I never imagined as a kid.I am the Pastor of The freeway Tabernacle, a Church in Midway Soweto. What happened to the doctor I wanted to be. am I a victim of circumstances? a failure? a result of not putting in enough efforts? I know that I am not doing what I wanted to do as a kid, but the question is am I in God's perfect will or is this also one of those things that one finds themselves doing whilst trying to negotiate their way around life? 
Over the twenty plus years that I have been preaching the gospel I have come across a lot of guys who share the same feeling with me, And looking at these folks from the outside they fit in so well with their jobs that to even question if it's their purpose or not would be an insult. I have had numerous compliments from people who know me as a Pastor, I even mentor others in the same field. But does God recognize me as a Pastor or is there a blank medical degree awaiting my name in some university somewhere. Will i hear God say to me one day: "you could have done better if you just became what you were supposed to be".

This feeling constantly scratches my inner man. Many times I have even said it out loud: "if what i'm doing is not my portion in this life let me find my direction whilst I can still make the difference". The truth is should I wake up one morning and be convinced that I should be doing something different I will not hesitate to leave all that i'm busy with to follow that purpose. The bible says that when Elijah met with Elisha he was working in the field with oxen and immediately he stopped what he was doing, slaughtered some of the oxen, resigned and followed Elijah. Now that's what I call passion for one's calling. 

The sad part of our lives in this generation is the "satisfaction at all costs" kind of attitude that we have developed. For as long we are happy with whatever it is we're engaged in we rake it in and make it our purpose. But one does not have to go too far to identify the multitudes of misplaced people in life. I have seen policemen without passion and doing deeds deserving of the darkest jail, nurses who will make Florence Nightingale to turn in her grave and preachers who crucify their master Jesus as often as they possibly can. I must admit though that these folks make it easy for me to judge them. But how about those who do their jobs so well that you would be willing to give up your purpose just so you can work with them? Are they living up to their purpose or is it just their love and willpower for what the are doing? These and many other issues remain slightly obscured to our judgement. Only time will tell if what we're doing is what we were created for.

I have asked myself this question often: If I was God and I had to judge these two  groups and found them both guilty of missing their purpose, and they all asked for forgiveness with which group would I be lenient with and why.
I have come to the conclusion therefore that just in case what I'm doing is not God's perfect will for my life let me not also be guilty of not doing it well. I will do it well, with the greatest passion and un-dented; above criticism dignity, because I believe these are the people who will at least be just guilty of missing their purpose but not doing harm to what was not theirs in this life. This is my commitment to my people; my peers; my students; and my critics: I am committed to doing well in whatever my hand finds to do, hoping that as an added bonus I will discover on the day I stand before Him that all along it has been His perfect will for my life. Are you guilty of missing your purpose or guilty on both charges? Come quickly Lord Jesus.Amen


This entry was posted on Friday, July 16, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .



You have just spoken to me in a way that has answered all my questions about my current status in life.Thank you Sir.