Today's articles is aimed at giving direction to those not already married. Simply because all that I will be saying in this article will be focusing more on offering preventative measures than giving curative ones. I wish to continue on the seriousness of compatibility or the lack thereof in relationships. In our previous articles I have touched on the subject of Principles and Preferences and how Joyce and I are able to live peacefully around them. This is simply so because we have realized that we are different in many ways than one. I also need to emphasize that two people can only agree or disagree to the extent they agree to do so. Without having common ground around these issues always becomes a bone of contention. Also be aware that agreeing or disagreeing will also be determined by the level of their maturity. It is also important to note that maturity has absolutely nothing to do with one's age.
looking back I believe that when Joyce and I got married even though I was twenty three and she was 21 we were matured enough when it came to how we handled our differences. on the contrary I have also witnessed how some folks much older than ourselves failed to handle theirs. I also need to highlight the importance of making sure that what two marriage prospects agree to disagree on must be issues that they can live with without causing too much problems. many as a result of being intoxicated by love have ignored extremely crucial issues and that has resulted in disaster. (please refer to Part 7 Published on 31May 2010). I wish to touch on one thing that I consider as the mother of all incompatibilities. I also wish to indicate that this should be avoided no matter what.


Spiritual Or Religious Incompatibility
I have divided this one into two simply because it is my personal opinion that everybody subscribes to either some spiritual or religious believe. it is not true at all that there are neutral people in this world when it comes to spiritual issues, and as a matter of fact every faith or religion emphasizes the wrongness of being unequally yoked with believers of other faiths; religions; or spiritualities or deities. Muslims don't prefer marriage to non Muslims and so do Christians, and the same goes with all other faiths/religions even under the same wrap of Christianity. Also not many religions would encourage their adherents to marry "neutral souls" because the truth here is that no person is truly neutral. We all believe in something. Another issue is that people do not believe in things that they consider to be less powerful than themselves, as a result whatever people believe in shall always have preeminence over them. 
Is this really important for us to avoid such? My response to that is a big yes. 
Being Spiritually incompatible has seen many good marriages crumble. A lot of people truly love each other and that is why they end up marrying, but since every family gets to a point where they face issues that can only be approached from the spiritual point of view they only realize how different they truly are. So many people make the mistake of introducing a prospective spouse to their religion. I believe that this should instead be the other way round, rather propose marriage to someone in the same faith as you are. I have been married for 28 years and I can testify that being of the same faith is one of the pillars of a good marriage, because at least we believe in the same principles that govern our spirituality and most of our principles.
We have had too many spiritual challenges and our breakthroughs have always been credited to our being of the same faith and being subject to the same spiritual laws. I do not wish to quote any scriptures on this issue simply because my emphasis here is not on Christianity but on compatibility. One thing I wish to emphasize though is that God is the author of marriage and the best way to do marriage so to speak is to do it God's way. 


We must never underestimate the power of faith and belief. Especially when you come across an individual who professes that they don't believe in any thing at all. Most of these people are the ones who end up believing in some of the weirdest beliefs. They have scrutinized all known religions etc. and could not find any of them sensible enough to believe in . By so saying I am trying to warn you that unbelieving is also a form of believing it's just that what they believe in is not yet tangible, but will soon come to the surface. In my profession as a Pastor I have witnessed tens of good marriages ruined because of these spiritual differences, and the most surprising were those of individuals who were both adherents to Christianity. It was only on closer interrogation that we discovered that when the individuals met one of them was not a Christian, they only became one when they discovered that the other party was not prepared to marry a spiritually incompatible person. 
To be continued - MVK