After knowing what preferences are and how to handle them, I want us to go through principles. I have come across folks who claim to be living without following any strict principles. They say their lives are not controlled by any law at all. What these guys don't realize is that living by no principles is a principle by itself just as Lawlessness is a law by itself. People who break the law simply don't agree with it and as a result they live by their own laws. Therefore they have their own self made principles that govern them. Principles are standards; rules; beliefs;theories and attitudes that were handed down from one generation to another. Or that are laid out by anyone to govern themselves;or other people; or things. Let me give you an example of some of my own principles: I don't lend people money, I would rather give it to them simply because I try to avoid any future disputes just in case they can't pay me back I made this principle after being at loggerheads with folks. In the same way I don't borrow money from anyone for the same reasons. This is my principle on money. But then same rule changes between me and the bank because I do borrow money from the bank.



Now there are principles that are there to govern marriages that were laid down by God as the author of marriage. These principles have been adopted by some cultures and rejected by others for different reasons. But it would be worth it to know that not believing in rules that govern things does not provide immunity against the consequences for those who do so. Now the difference between preferences and principles is that preferences change from time to time but principles remain authoritative. Now let's get to the point; if you are confused as to how you need to conduct yourself in your relationship look at people who make it in theirs and those who don't. Both these groups have different ways of doing the same thing and that is why they get different results even though they're doing the same thing. Marital problems are simply results of some laws broken or not executed well. There are simple biblical principles that if obeyed well they are guaranteed to produce excellent results. At this point I must admit that it is not easy for me tell people on how to be a perfect husband and wife the Tswana way or the Zulu way. Simply because God as the author of marriage did not design different marital rules to suit different traditions; cultures and customs. As I indicated earlier using the example of car manufacturers.


I must also point out that many cultures and traditions around the world have taken the principles that they use to govern marriages from the manufacturers handbook which is the bible. And in any case I really don't see why culture should stand in the way of God's laws. [own opinion]. The bible says the husband is the head of the wife in the same way that Christ is the head of the Church. And that husbands must love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Ephesians 5:18-25.The same scripture tells us that wives must be submissive to their husbands. Now these rules work better in a Christian setup where both parties are willfully subjective to God and His laws. I have had husbands whose wives are members of our church come to me and wanted me to remind their wives that the bible says the husband is the head of the wife. This has actually caused me a great challenge because the same husbands were not anywhere near where God wants them to be. The same Bible says: "as Christ is the head..." It simply means husbands must take Jesus as their role model.
I must say that I'm thankful to God for saving me early enough in my marriage , as this helped me to conduct my marriage the biblical way. This has resulted in Joyce and i living peacefully for the past 28 years. I have never wished that I was not married all these years and thanks be to God for this. 
There are also principles that have been governing roles in families. Husbands provide for families and wives organize the household. Today this is highly challenged because of the challenges that face married couples.
I promise to continue this tomorrow. 
MVK