MERRY CHRISTMAS - MVK



What Popular Christmas Song was Written for Thanksgiving?
"Jingle Bells" was written in 1857 by James Pierpont (1822-1893) to be sung at a Thanksgiving program at his Unitarian church in Savannah, Georgia. It was originally titled "One Horse Open Sleigh." The performance was repeated at Christmas.

What is the Story of the Christmas Tree?
The tree as a symbol of Christmas comes to us from Germany, in much the same way that we use and decorate it today. Martin Luther is said to have cut a fir tree from his garden one wintry Christmas... 


Why Do We Send Christmas Cards?
It was in England that Christmas cards were first produced. People had, of course, sent private notes of good wishes to each other for uncounted Christmases, marking the birth of hope and peace and the beginning of each new year.... 


Why Do We Give Christmas Presents?
The gifts given by the Wise Men to the Infant Jesus are, of course, very probably the source of our present-day custom. We give, thus, to those we cherish, and this derivation is so direct that in many countries.


Why do Children Hang Up Christmas Stockings?
The first Saint Nicholas, a real person who was a bishop in Asia Minor in the fourth century, is probably the source of our present Saint Nick who fills the stockings of good children on Christmas Eve. 


Why Do we Kiss Under Mistletoe?
Although kissing under the mistletoe is associated completely with the Christmas season, there is no reason why it should be, except for the power that custom can bestow. In a Scandinavian myth, Baldur the beautiful, god of light and spring,... 


Why is the Poinsettia the Flower of Christmas?
The poinsettia as a symbol of Christmas is a completely American development. In 1836 it was brought to the United States when our first Minister to Mexico returned from there; his name was Dr. Joel R. Poinsett


Where Do Christmas Carols Come From?
One of the happiest customs of the Christmas celebration throughout the world is the singing of carols. For us in the United States it would be hard to imagine the holiday without the music that fills the air around us


KID’S OWN VERSION OF THE BIBLE


In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one,' but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a Light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars. Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel.


Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something. One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
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Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then He gave them His top ten commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's bottom (the Bible uses a bad word for bottom that I'm not supposed to say. But my Dad uses it sometimes when he talks about the President). Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
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One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua, who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town. After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed up on the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
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After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
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During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
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Jesus was a great man He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
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Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven, but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is retold in the book of Revolution.
There! Now you understand.


Kids answer questions about life

What most people are thinking when they say "I Love You"
"The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day."


 How a person learns to kiss
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you."
"It might help to watch soap operas all day."


When is it okay to kiss someone?
 "It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...That's why I stopped doing it."
 How to Make Love Endure
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." "Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the love."
 "Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the garbage."
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3-year-old Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name . . 
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A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
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A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us.
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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
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A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late . . . But please don't shove me either!"
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Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper—he calls it a poem; they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper—he calls it a song; they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper—he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."
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At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
One child answered, "Mary."
The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
Another kid replied, "Verge."
Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''


FROM KIDS


Dear God,
• Are you really invisible or is that just a trick? Lucy
• I want to be just like my daddy when i get big ,but with not so much hair all over. Sam
• Did you mean for giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma
• I keep waiting for spring but it never come yet, don't forget! Mark
• You don’t have to worry bout me, i always look both ways. Dean
• Instead of letting people die and haveing to make new ones, why don’t you keep the ones you got now? Jane
• I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church,is that okay? Neil
• I think the stapler is one of your greatest invention. Ruth M
• In bible times did they really talk that fancy? Jennifer
• I think about you sometimes even when im not praying. Elliott
• I am American what are you? Robert
• I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world.there are only 4 people in our family and i can never doit. Nan
• Thank you for the baby brother but what i prayed for was a puppy. Joyce
   Please put a-nother holiday between christmas and easter.there is nothing    good in there now. Ginny
• If you watch in church on sunday i will show you my new shoes. Mickey D
• If we come back as something please dont let me be Jennifer Horton because   i hate her. Denise
• I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the bible. love,Chris
• If you give me genie lamp like Alladdin i will give you anything,except my money or my chess set. Raphael
• We read Thos Edison made light.But in Sun school they said you did it.So i bet he stoled your idea.Sincerely Donna.
• If you let the dinasaur not exstinct we would not have a country.you did the right thing. Jonathan
• Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill so much if they had their own rooms.it works with my brother. Larry
• I do not think anybody could be a better God.well i just want you to know but i am not just saying that because you are God. Charles


Lot’s Wife
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, “My Mommy looked back once while she was driving and she turned into a telephone pole!”


The Good Samaritan
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, “I think I’d throw up.”


Did Noah Fish?
A Sunday school teacher asked, “Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?” ‘No,’ replied Johnny. “How could he, with just two worms.”


Higher Power
A Sunday school teacher said to her children, “We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a Higher Power. Can anybody tell me what it is?” One child blurted out, “Aces!”


Moses and the Red Sea
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
“Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved.”
“Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?” his mother asked.
“Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it!”


The Lord Is My Shepherd
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible – Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Ricky was excited about the task – but he just couldn’t remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.
On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, “The Lord is my Shepherd, and that’s all I need to know.”


Being Thankful
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, “So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That’s very commendable. What does she say?” The little boy replied, ‘Thank God he’s in bed!”


Untimely Answered Prayer
During the minister’s prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Tommy’s mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after church, asked, “Tommy, whatever made you do such a thing?” Tommy answered, soberly, “I asked God to teach me to whistle, and He did!”


Time To Pray
A pastor asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night. “Yes, sir,” the boy replied. “And, do you always say them in the morning, too?” the pastor asked. “No sir,” the boy replied. “I ain’t scared in the daytime.”


All Men - All Girls
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.” This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?” Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men.’”


Say a Prayer
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
“Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer.” said his mother. “I don’t need to,” the boy replied. “Of course, you do,” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.” “That’s at our house,” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook!”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 22, 2010 . You can leave a response and follow any responses to this entry through the Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) .

2 comments

desdes  

Merry Christmas to you Pastoor, and to all the readers/friends, and haaappy 2011

Morgan lekgetho Mogagabe  

Thank you ,Rev Kotu, Merry Christmas to you & your family.